At least Joe the Plumber would have been helpful when the flooding begins.

Dearest Luke,

You now owe me a down payment of 300 dollars, minimum. You know who I was supposed to have a meeting with this morning and I couldn't.

That's right!

A POTENTIAL CLIENT.

Sincerely,

Agent Ska.

P.S. The women in my gym's locker room were wondering why it is that you're always celebrating your 30th birthdays during crises? Just how many times are you going to turn 30? Yeah, these women are doctors and nurses. They actually HELP people.

Natalia Rudiak = #Awesome

This kick ass, "Oh yeah, how about I actually tell people what's going on", email just arrived in my inbox. THANK YOU, NATALIA. See below.

Dear Agent Ska,

I want to thank all of you for your patience as the City tries to unbury itself from Friday and Saturday's snow storm. After meeting with the Mayor today and several key administration officials, I have some information for you on why the clean-up has been slow moving and what next steps the City is taking to prepare for tomorrow's storm.

First, while it is evident that the City needs to change its emergency management system given the slow response over the last four days, our public works employees have been working 12 hour shifts, plowing more than 1,000 miles of City streets. I know how frustrating this storm has been, I was without power and my car is still banked in snow. But the men and woman who are working on the ground have been working very long and very hard hours to try to get the City up and running again and I applaud their efforts.

Tomorrow starting at 10:00 AM, a winter storm warning will go into effect for the entire region and stay in effect until 7:00 PM Wednesday evening. We are expected to receive at least 6 to 10 inches of additional snow in that time. As of this e-mail the Pittsburgh Public Schools, as well as all major colleges and universities are closed tomorrow at the request of the City's Public Safety Director.

Starting this morning, all City plows were rerouted off of the City's main roads and on to neighborhood streets (so-called "secondary" and "tertiary"streets). The Department of Public Works has stated that they will be able to plow most neighborhood streets by the time snow starts falling again tomorrow.

Once the storm starts tomorrow, plows will be re-routed again to emergency roads and primary neighborhood roads. Once those roads are all clear, they will move back into the neighborhoods.

When the second storm starts tomorrow, there are some key safety measures that will help the City plow the roads and minimize the number of emergency calls it is receiving:

• Try to stay off the roads until they are plowed. One of the reasons plows have had a hard time getting into the neighborhoods is the number of vehicles that got stuck in the road Friday night and blocked a plow or emergency vehicle. It helps everyone to stay home when it snows.


• Try not to walk in the roads. While often times it is easier to walk on a driven-over or plowed street, it is not safe. If it is possible, please try to walk on sidewalks.


• Try not to shovel additional snow into the street and try not to block any fire hydrants. Try to shovel it into your yard, when it goes into the street it can slow the plows down even more.


• Call 911 for emergencies, and 311 for service requests. If you are not sure if your call is an emergency, call 911 anyway, they will be able to route your call. For your information, garbage pick-up and recycling have been suspended until further notice.


• The National Guard will be able to reach you. The National Guard responded to over 60 EMS calls last night, most of them for non-emergency medical needs. If you have a medical emergency, we will be able to reach you either with our EMS teams or with the National Guard.


• Keep fire hydrants free of snow. When you are shoveling your walk, it would help emergency crews if you were also able to shovel some space around any fire hydrants that are near your house.


• And last, please check on your neighbors, especially senior citizens. Being a good neighbor is what Pittsburgh is all about, so while you are outside, check on your neighbors to make sure they are ok.

Please continue to submit your 311 requests online through my office, we have passed on all of your comments and concerns, often times directly to the relevant department and bureau heads, and we are working as hard as can to make sure your streets are plowed sooner rather than later.

Best,
Natalia Rudiak
Pittsburgh City Councilwoman
District 4
(412) 255-2131

It needs to be said...

Dearest Luke,

If I could have gone to Seven Springs this weekend, yeah, I'd have gone. BUT GUESS WHAT!

I'M NOT THE FREAKING MAYOR OF A CITY THAT IS UNDER 3-4 FEET OF SNOW!

WHERE ARE THE SNOW PLOWS?

I AM HAVING ANGRY MONDAY MORNING/AFTERNOON ISSUES AND NOW MY CALMING PILATES FUSION CLASS IS CANCELLED.

DO SOMETHING! THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE PAID TO DO!

and where the hell is Yarone? Shouldn't he be making backroom deals so I don't have to climb through piles of snow while trying to avoid the yellow snow and also trying not to fall over???

THERE ARE PEOPLE WITHOUT POWER!

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???!?

Sincerely,

A disgruntled Agent Ska

IMPORTANT SCHOOL MEETING!

I received the following information in an email and was encouraged to pass it on. See below.

Attend the next Pittsburgh Public Schools East Regional Advisory Committee meeting to be held at Pittsburgh Peabody on Tuesday, February 9th beginning at 7 PM. Provide input into a plan that will shape the region's academic and facilities operations for the east section of the City of Pittsburgh. This is a very timely and important event. Do not let this plan move forward without your input!

-Agent Ska-

Let's get real, America.

Bush put our country in debt.

But you, America, did your part in bringing the economy to its knees.

I was reading this blog post on Slate and it reminded me of the blog post on the DABA girls blog from "The Re po Man".

I do not mean to come off as judgemental but I'm sick of listening to people complain about the wall street execs. Yes, they did their part but let's consider suburban sprawl.

Suburban Sprawl

America, you decided cities weren't good enough for you over the past thirty years. Then, in the 90s, you decided that normal sized houses weren't good enough for you and you began building your McMansions. As the 2000s rolled around, you traded in normal sized cars for bigger SUVs because your kids wouldn't be able to get to football and ballet practice in a normal sized car. Suddenly, you were feeling inspired, so you bought the big screen TVs and for some, a new yacht (which might as well have been a floating SUV at that point).

But last time I checked, not everyone in America was a Silicon Valley brat raking in millions. Sure maybe they got a salary raise and/or a better job.

And then you were shocked when suddenly you couldn't afford both an SUV and a FLOATING SUV.

I know this is not everyone's story. There are people who saved their entire lives and then got utterly and totally screwed.

But we're not going to get a better economy until people get their finances in order.

In addition, we are in massive debt to China.

People like John MacArthur are suggesting we boycott our own country.

Saying, "We can't afford that this month" isn't a bad thing. It's normal. It's okay to say that.

Grow some balls and stop buying whatever they tell you to buy.You want freedom from terrorists? THEN STOP USING SO MUCH DAMN OIL! STOP FILLING UP YOUR SUVS!

Sincerely,

Agent Ska

Where are the Pgh Republicans at? I have a message for you.

Dearest Moderate & Young Republicans,

You need to step up and say what I would hope you are thinking. Sarah Palin is an embarrassment to your party. Plain and simple.

I can understand Republicans on some things, well, I could before your party became the trainwreck it is today.

But, if you want to be able to show your face in public again, you really need to leave her sorry a*s in Alaska and come back and find a candidate who doesn't make you all look stupid.

This "she's plain-spoken" bs really misses a very important point.

We don't need stupid people handling our country. I don't care if Barack can break down international debt issues into 5 words to me. I don't need it to be spoon-fed to me and then told that maybe we should execute gay people --a la the Tea Baggers this weekend.

I want my representatives to be smart. If they can't have a conversation with me because they're one of those ubersmart, nerdy types, that's just fine. I won't hold it against them.

If Palin becomes your representative, there could be young people my age who will turn their backs on your party.

For your sake, I hope you find some better candidates. Perhaps Bloomberg? At this point, if it were between Bloomberg and Palin, I would apply for a job as a campaign staffer for Bloomberg to try to make sure he was on the Republican ticket.

In conclusion, dear Republicans, you're embarrassing yourselves when you put Sarah Palin on CNN as your frunt runner.

Sincerely,

Agent Ska

A Yesssss Kind of Day.

• The Saints Won. YES!
• The National Guard is heading to Pgh because of we can't handle basic snow issues. They can shovel my driveway any day. YES!
• School is cancelled tomorrow. Actually, I don't have any classes tomorrow but still. It's awesome. If it's cancelled tomorrow, a chance of a Tuesday cancellation still exists. I mean, it's been 48 hours and the streets aren't cleared. It's not totally inconceivable at this point. So, YES!
  
• The Google, "Parisian Love", ad aired and was wonderful. Yes!
• I went to the store and got groceries so that I have food in case of another massive snow attack. Yes!
  

I think that about sums up my day of "YES!".

-Agent Ska-

No. No. No.

--All of a sudden, mid-conversation, the following question appeared--

Boy from the Lake: "Do you call rubber bands gumbands?"

Me: "HA HA HA. no. I have some standards."

Him: "Well that helps."

Me: "Where did that question come from?... wait a sec...did you learn about the yinzer dialect somewhere?"

Him: "From my anthro class. We're doing cultural anthropology and learning about language. We watched a movie about certain words from different regions."

Me: "I knew it."

-----

Is this what I'm up against if I date people from places outside of SW PA?

*Head to Desk*

-Agent Ska-

Cute Nerdery

This Google ad has been making the rounds on the internets and will be played tomorrow during the superbowl. SO CUTE!



.Agent Ska.

My cynicism hates me.

And you know why?

Because as a child in Pittsburgh, you learn to not believe them when they tell you there will be a lot of snow. Oh, maybe a couple of inches, but don't get your hopes up, kid. That's one of the tough life lessons I've learned during my 23 years in this place known as Pittsburgh.

So when I heard all of these people predicting snowmageddon, I said, 'pshaw pshaw. I've grown up in Pittsburgh. I'll believe it when I see it."

So of course, I didn't buy much food (not that I don't have any- don't worry). Grumpily, I walked to and from the gym while it pretty much rained on me, hating every tweet that was happy about the wannabe snow drenching me.

As I walked, I kept saying to myself, "Walkable city? Yeah, it's so great to walk in this city when I'm getting soaked. Just great. On top of which, my heating bill was really high! So great, it'll get more cold and rainy and I'll be broke and wet. That's just FANTASTIC."

Then one of the people I work with said, "Hey! I forgot to tell you. I'm going to be in Costa Rica for the next week for my brother's wedding!"

Well, that's just great, too.

But still, I continued to believe that this snow wouldn't stick- worst case scenario, it would just become ice.

Then last night hit. and snow it did.

The morning hit and I saw many tweets on my cell saying how much snow had really fallen.

"Whatever. I'll bet they're just being sarcastic and it's like, 3 inches. I'm going back to bed."

Then my best friend called and woke me up. An hour later, I decided to go take a look out the window. Down below, I saw some people shoveling the walk. I finally saw just how far it was from the top of the snow to the walk.

*I also had this weird dream last night where I was on a bridge for someone's birthday (they had closed off the bridge for the party) and I ran into someone who I had apparently dated and he looked like someone I had debated against (or so my brain told me), and then it later turned out that this was a memory of this event-and apparently he then became the treasury secretary of the US. *

WTF. That's who I dated? Someone who became the treasury secretary? That is sooo unexciting.

*Sigh*. Anyways.

I want my snow pants, boots and my old purple sled. I don't know where I'd go sledding. Maybe the cemetery between Lawrenceville and Garfield?

My god, I am starting to remember just how excited I would have been right now 15 years ago. I would probably be running around putting on clothes and harassing my brother to ask him why he wasn't dressed for sledding yet. Didn't he know that we have to get going RIGHT NOW to go sledding? No time to lose. Gotta stake out our place in the sledding festivities. My mother would give my brother a look that clearly said, "Please take her sledding. I'll make this up to you later. I promise."

And so, being a good older brother (who also really liked to play nerdy computer games which were paid for by my parents), he would put on a bunch of clothes and take me and our little white dog sledding.

So I guess you could call this my sledding obituary. All I can do now is to say the following.

To all of the kids in Pittsburgh who will go sledding in the next three days, I hope you have A LOT of fun. Tell the Blue Slide Park I say, "Hi". It has been awhile.

-Agent Ska-

Current Game Plan That I Came Up With Tonight

I think I want to do the following.

1. Find a job or various consulting jobs that pay money so I can do things like pay my rent, my heating bill (which was really, really high this month), my water bill, eat food, buy Wired, and buy food for my guinea pig.

2. While doing whatever paid work I find, study for my GREs.

3. Hopefully, my GREs won't be an abomination. I think I want to apply for a masters program in geography.

Does anyone out there have an BA or MA in geography and want to share their thoughts and experiences with me?

I just really, really, really like all of this digital mapping stuff. It makes me happy. Over the past couple of days, I have begun thinking about maps. But it's not the paper maps that fascinate me, it's the virtual maps that I really like looking at and reading about.

Anyways, any info you would like to share would be more than appreciated.

Gracias!

-Agent Ska-

It's the Agent Ska Survey Time.

Hey Readers,

It's your time to shine! Tell me what I should do after I graduate. Thanks!

-Agent Ska-

Did anyone see Family Guy the other night?

Did anyone see the Family Guy the other night when the dad becomes mayor of his own city? If you did, then you should recognize the shirt below. If you didn't see it, there is a scene where the dad is wearing this shirt.


I was shocked I hadn't seen Luke wearing this shirt, too. Then I realized that Yarone probably hid it in Luke's...closet.

But I think Luke's right, we should all get to see him wearing that shirt. Here yinz go!



Happy Friday!

Agent Ska

Pgh Radio Shows & The Jordan Miles Case

I have been receiving text messages in the earlier parts of the day throughout the last week telling me that various KDKA radio hosts have been saying, or allowing for say others to, racist things on their shows.

Now, let's take a moment to ponder this.

If you're a news station who desperately wants young people and you're allowing for outdated things to be said, then you clearly are going to be outdated quite quickly.

I can't find the transcripts and they don't seem to have podcasts that I could download and listen to in order to verify what I've been told and to write what they're saying verbatim.

From what I've heard Marty Griffin was saying ridiculous things like Jordan Miles was probably guilty and Pintek was allowing for people to say things that were totally irrelevant to Jordan's case such as, "Where's the father?".

Guilty without being proven guilty.
Guilty because of a lack of a father.

I just want to warn KDKA morning hosts that I will be looking for transcripts from now on and you will be under the microscope.

You have been warned.

-Agent Ska-

P.S. To the guy who called in about the father and the people who called in to say he's probably guilty, even if no evidence indicating guilt has been found, I have a special message for you!

The Wow Just Wow Round Up

*Reminder: This is the round up that is a tad bit less "appropriate" than say...um. Wolfe Blitzer's Situation Room.

When S-E-X runs into Public Policy at the Bus Stop

• The Prop 8 Trials online (well, kinda). Here.
  
• Bristol Palin goes on an abstinence-only bender. Here.
  
• Scott Brown announces he's pro-choice. Here.
• French hit back after British attack on G-Spot hits nerve. Here.
• U.S. Job Site Bans Bias over Gender Identity Discrimination. Here.
• Sen. Gillibrand's statement at "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" hearing.
  

Miscellaneous

• Man's penis gets stuck in pipe. Here. (If you weren't such a dumbass, I'd feel sorry for you...Well, maybe I do still feel a little bad for you, actually.)
  
• The World's First Sex Robot. Here.
  
• BDSM for Beginners. Here.
• What exactly is the Sqweel? Here.
  

Dating

• "Sorry, Girls-- there are no nice guys". Here.
• 6 Booty Rules for Sharing a Space. Here.
• Helen Gurley Brown's Secrets for a Successful Marriage. Here.
• Five Reasons Why Wing Women are the Future. Here.
  

Society

• The V Magazine's Curves Ahead photoshoot controversy. Here.
• Nude pics of Snookie leaked. Here. (What a shock. What a surprise.)
• Confessions of a Cocktail Waitress. Here.
• What Never to Say to a Single Woman. Here.

Peace!

-Agent Ska-